It seems more like getting a flat tier at the start of your journey..
Alvin Toffler rose to fame by predicting how the world would be in the distant future by writing the path breaking Future Shock and The Third Wave. He is not to be confused with the Alvin in Alvin and the Chipmunks who is more popular now days. He had come up with some shocking predictions and though not all of them have materialised, it was a bold attempt indeed. Not Cricket plans to extend on the same theme and will espouse on how the future will unfold over a very long period of time. The complete book will be published in the not so foreseeable future and hence we plan to publish some salient points of our startling conclusions. We have conducted extensive research and analysis and readers planning to pan our views will have to wait for a reallyyyyyyyy long time to disprove our theories. That is one advantage of predicting the distant future. No body remembers if the predictions go haywire but we will shout from the roof tops if they do go right. Ask Nouriel Roubini if you don't believe us.
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Sachin Tendulkar would have retired from ODIs.
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Viru's 175 against Bangladesh would have been telecast innumerable times on India Victorious shown along with interviews of Sanjay Manjrekar, Viru and Ravi Shastri.
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The global economy would have gone though atleast 2 boom-bust cycles
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The Indian Football team would have qualified for the World Cup.
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The Wankhede stadium would have been pulled down again for renovation but it won't be completed even by then.
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Dev Anand would still be acting and making terrible movies.
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All Middle East nations would have overthrown the current regimes and living in peace with Israel.
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Bankers would be held in high esteem by the world in general and Britons in particular.
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England would be the holders of the Football World Cup.. uh huhh on second thoughts we would cancel this one.
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The Chinese market would be flooded by American products.
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Most readers would be feeling like 70 year olds
As NC is writing a comprehensive book on this we refuse to share our rationale for the predictions. The topmost question on most readers' mind will be what is the time frame we are talking about. As NC had clarified earlier it is a long time away. As far away as the finals of the 2011 ICC World Cup. The tournament schedule is under performing the scorching pace set by our pet snail and has set a record for the longest foreplay (most of it sadistic with all these minnows playing) ever indulged in before reaching the climax. We believe that most of our predictions will stand sleep the test of these boring times.
Our intelligent readers have to choose one of the following news items as a true story. All others are fantasies and imaginations that are fuelled after watching all those news channels.
- Sourav Ganguly set to be India coach after Kirsten's departure.
- Akash Chopra set to stop tweeting if India wins World Cup
- Muttiah Muralidaran to coach at Australian Cricket Academy
- Ian Chappell wants Ian Botham as his valentine next week
- Andy Flower may participate as a player if the current spate of injuries to England players continue.
- Liverpool fans send their best wishes to Fernando Torres
- Not Cricket got an invite to write on Cricinfo and the invite was gleefully accepted
One understands that all these scenarios seem to be a product of fakingnews.com but discerning readers will figure out that Murali is ACTUALLY going to help Aussie spinners at their Centre of Excellence. All one needs is a snap of Hair and Howard standing at the nets, watching intently.
The frenzy of 'let's do it for Sachin' has reached unimaginable levels with all Sachin's team mates also joining the bandwagon. One is very sure that every time Yusuf Pathan goes in to bat with 100 required off 35 balls, he would be thinking of Sachin. All those millions of India fans do matter but not as much.
This Let's do it bandwagon has found allies around the world. Not Cricket has managed to get some snaps and news across the world.
In Egypt most Sachin supporters gathered around at Tahrir square but some media channels erroneously reported it as an uprising against Hosni Mubarak. Chaotic scenes followed but NC has managed to get a snap of a helmet that the Egyptians have lovingly made for SRT to wear at the World Cup. They reckoned that the helmet would provide enough safety to SRT on Indian pitches.
Pic: Ben Curtis AP
In Australia, on the other hand, Ian Thorpe announced a come back from his retirement to do it for Sachin. He declared that all his future medals would be dedictaed to Sachin if Sachin's team mates couldn't manage to win the WC for him. This, he opined, would act as a powerful motivating factor for Team India. The snap below shows Thorpe cheering for SRT.
Pic: www.pollsb.com
It has been reliably learnt that cricket crazy amorous boyfriends in India have been begging their girlfriends to 'do it for Sachin' and getting encouraging responses. Let's hope that it doesn't lead to a spurt in India's already vast population.