Team meetings for the IPL 4 knockouts
Scene 1 - The Mumbai Indians dressing room
SRT – ‘Ok boys, we have got to win only 2 matches to win this IPL. My boys won the WC for me just about a month back. The same Virat who carried me on his shoulders on that day is today plotting my downfall. Why don’t they just do it for Sachin I say?’
Bhajji – ‘Oye , (looking at Symmonds purposefully)Teri Behen ki!! I feel like crying. You reminded me of that emotional tail called the Ramayan where brothers fight brothers and Hanuman the monkey god (winces) sits on a chariot of one of the winners playing no active role. (Again looks at Symmonds). I have known a few people like him.
SRT – ‘Bhajji, it was the Mahabharata. I have told that to you more times than I have asked you to flight the ball and you still forget. But let’s talk cricket. What should our strategy be to win the next match?
Rohit Sharma – ‘Sir, I think we can get an extra spinner in the line up given that the Chennai pitch will turn. We can try bowling me once in while, we should not play around too much with the batting order, we can try and give less bowling and more batting to Pollard, we can even…
SRT – (giving Rohit a dark look) Rohit, that was a rhetorical question. I know what I am going to do. We will open our bowling with Pollard. Chris Gayle will be laughing so much that he will hand us his wicket for the free entertainment provided to him. And what are you sniggering at Bhajji? I am not talking about that item girl. I was talking about Pollard’s bowling. It will be easy going after that. Every time the ball goes to the boundary, we place a fielder there. That will give the batters a hard time.
Munaf excited – ‘And what about our batting strategy Paaji? Please elect to bat first if you win the toss. I always get batting practice when we do that. Last time when we batted second against KKR, even Dhawal didn’t get to bat.’
SRT – ‘Don’t worry Munaf, next time I will send you ahead of Suman if we are chasing. I Promise!!’
Symmonds - ‘Sashin will I be in the playing XI in the next match?’
Everybody starts rolling on the floor laughing. SRT doesn’t even answer the question.
Rohit – ‘What is our strategy if we win and play CSK?’
Everyone starts rolling on the floor again.
SRT – ‘Our strategy doesn’t change. Only our opponents do.’
Scene 2. The RCB dressing room
Sid Mallya –
‘So boys what dress should Deepika be wearing in the next match? And does Dad look ok with his new diamond studded nose ring? I am under so much pressure here. Can someone please help me out here?
Virat – ‘Wake up Sid, we are planning our strategy for the MI match here. We don’t want any distractions for now. By the way Deepika can wear the clothes that I wore in my Pepsi Bleed Blue ad and your dad can wear his attitude. Jesus!! Chris(t) is our saviour and he will win it for us. This meeting is over.'
Scene 3. The CSK dressing room
MSD – ‘Boys, did the Pandavas need a strategy when they had a Shakuni mama on their side? Sorry, I meant Krishna on their side. There’s nothing to worry. Cheeka and Srini will take care of us. We just have to turn up at the match, bowl in the right areas, play each ball on its merit and even if we don’t do that Srini hai na!!’