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April 2012 - Posts

  • USA Cricket: Why is USACA paying Robin Singh if he's having a "bad experience" working for USACA?

    Now, you can get all the USA Cricket updates via Facebook.   Also follow us on Twitter via @dreamcricket

    By Peter Della Penna (on Twitter)

    Friday afternoon at the IPL, the Mumbai Indians team was on its way to defeat at the hands of the Pune Warriors when sideline reporter Shibani Dandekar pulled aside Mumbai Indians head coach Robin Singh, who also sometimes acts as USA’s “coach” and other times their “technical advisor”, for a brief interview in the 10th over of Mumbai’s failed chase.

    After Dandekar got a few questions out of the way regarding the state of the match and the quality of Mumbai’s fielding unit, she threw in a question about USA cricket, which may have caught the eyes and ears of viewers in America.

    “A little birdie told me that you also coached the US Women’s team for the qualifiers,” said Dandekar, referencing the squad that competed in November at the 2011 ICC Women’s World Cup Qualifier in Bangladesh. “What was that experience like?”

    “Well that was pretty bad,” Singh blurted out. He may have been candid but he was also quite ungracious. However, the worst was yet to come.

    “I think it was the first time I was doing women’s cricket,” said Singh. “It’s very very different. I mean, you have to drop your mental standards with them. It’s a total change. It’s absolutely different.”

    Dandekar then tried to offer a chance for Singh to perhaps take back some of what he just said. “But you enjoyed it…” Dandekar responded back to him.

    Singh took a few moments before offering a half-hearted and utterly unconvincing, “Yeah….” mixed in with a shoulder shrug. “I mean it’s different. You have to rethink how you strategize and so forth.”

    Maybe it’s time for USACA to have a rethink about how to strategize their use of financial resources towards a “technical advisor” or “coach” who doesn’t sound terribly enthusiastic about being involved with US cricket and is ready to insult the intelligence of female players with what can only be characterized as sexist remarks. Singh saying he had to drop his “mental standards” when dealing with female cricketers implies they are intellectually inferior to male athletes he coaches.

    I wonder what the female players and supporters of United States cricket have to say about that. It’s a cheap, pathetic statement one would expect out of someone living in the 1950s. The only amusing part about it is that it’s coming from the guy who sources have indicated was the brains behind sending Abhimanyu Rajp in to bat at number three against Ireland last month at the 2012 ICC World Twenty20 Qualifier in Dubai.

    Let’s look at Robin Singh’s track record so far in US cricket:

    - 1st place finish (out of six teams) with the USA U-19 team at the 2011 ICC Americas U-19 tournament in Florida. The standard of competition was scraping the bottom of the barrel at that event.
    - USA U-19 is swept in a four-match series by West Indies U-19 in Florida last July.
    - 7th place finish (out of 10 teams) at the 2011 ICC U-19 World Cup Qualifier in Ireland. USA fails to qualify for 2012 ICC U-19 World Cup.
    - 8th place finish (out of 10 teams) at the 2011 ICC Women’s World Cup Qualifier in Bangladesh. USA fails to qualify for 2013 ICC Women’s World Cup.
    - 12th place finish (out of 16 teams) at the 2012 ICC World Twenty20 Qualifier in the UAE. USA fails to qualify for 2012 ICC World Twenty20.

    Singh claims that he had a “bad experience” with the USA Women’s team, but on the evidence above, it looks like USA Cricket as a whole has had a very bad experience with Robin Singh. Why does USACA continue to let him fleece their tiny bank account if he’s having a “bad experience” with US cricket?

    Image (right) - Robin Singh [Courtesy: Peter Della Penna/DreamCricket]

    He blames his experience with the US women’s team on having to drop his “mental standards” when coaching them. However, he also said that he had never coached women before. Clearly, this is an admission that he was unqualified and unprepared for the duties he was assigned to carry out in coaching the USA Women’s team in Bangladesh, yet he had no issues swooping into Dhaka like a vulture to snatch a paycheck from USACA. It’s also interesting to note that after Singh’s “bad experience” with the women’s team in November, he didn’t have any issues parachuting himself into the men’s touring party in the UAE last month to collect another easy paycheck as a “technical advisor”.

    Let’s look at the results again: one success against substandard competition followed by four overwhelming failures. Each failure was worse than the previous one. Singh has shown no interest in coming to help players with practice and training on US soil prior to entering tournaments. Rather, he conveniently shows up on site as a tournament is about to get underway for a shameless cash grab.

    Muhammad Ali once said, “The fight is won or lost far away from the witnesses – behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.” Conversely, Singh and USACA’s administration feel they can cut corners to achieve success by sending teams to show up at tournaments with little or no preparation beforehand and just expect them to win. What was that again about dropping mental standards?

    [Views expressed in this article are those of the author. If you have differing views or opinions, we respect those views and urge you to provide your feedback - both positive and negative - in the comments section.]

  • USA Cricket: 14-player squad named for 2012 ICC Americas Women's Twenty20 Championship

    Now, you can get all the USA Cricket updates via Facebook.   Also follow us on Twitter via @dreamcricket

    By Peter Della Penna (on Twitter)

    USACA has selected a 14-player squad for the 2012 ICC Americas Women’s Twenty20 Championship to be played from April 23-28 in the Cayman Islands. Five players were left out from the squad that finished in eighth place last November at the 2011 ICC Women’s World Cup Qualifier in Bangladesh. The USA roster was obtained Thursday from an ICC Americas spokesperson.

    Candacy Atkins was one of four players coming into the squad who did not go with USA to Bangladesh in November. Atkins was one of several players who wound up staying home from the tour after a dispute over tour stipends between women’s players and USACA. Atkins not only comes back into USA’s squad for the Cayman Islands tour but was also named captain of the team, replacing Doris Francis who was left out of the roster.

    The other players missing out are Joan Alexander, Grace Richards, Durga Das and teenage sensation Shebani Bhaskar, who was USA’s leading scorer in Bangladesh. Bhaskar scored a half-century in USA’s one-run win over Zimbabwe at the Women’s World Cup Qualifier, but according to a source she could not get approval to miss classes from her high school in India to participate in this tournament.

    Melissa Sandy and Karen Bayles are two players who are in line to make their debuts for USA at this tournament. The 20-year-old Sandy has previously represented Trinidad & Tobago. She scored 79 off 60 balls against the Hollywood Rebels at the 2011 USACA Women’s National Tournament in New York. Bayles is one of five Tri-State Lynx players, including Atkins, that are a part of this USA roster.

    The most curious selection in the squad is Sahar Azmat. At the 2011 USACA Women’s National Tournament in New York, Azmat was ripped apart by the Tri-State Lynx batting lineup. In 10 overs, she returned figures of 1 for 128. Azmat was out for 1 in the only innings she batted in at the tournament.

    It is unclear who in the USACA administration was involved in selecting this squad. The 2012 USACA Women’s National Tournament, originally scheduled for March 9-11, never happened and a selection camp to identify talent never occurred either. A coaching staff and management team has not yet been announced by USACA. It is also unclear if the team will play any warm-up games ahead of the tournament.

    USA plays the hosts Cayman Islands on the first day of the tournament before squaring off against Brazil on April 24. USA then plays Argentina on April 25 before a rest day on April 26. On Friday, April 27, USA takes on Bermuda and then ends the tournament on April 28 by playing Canada.

    The winner of the tournament advances to the 2013 ICC Women’s World Twenty20 Qualifier, which will be a 10-team event. A date and location for next year’s qualifier have yet to be determined by the ICC.

    USA squad for 2012 ICC Americas Women's Twenty20 Championship: Candacy Atkins (captain), Anahita Arora, Sahar Azmat, Karen Bayles, Claudine Beckford, Ritu Bhargava, Sara Farooq, Nadia Gruny, Triholder Marshall, Samantha Ramautar, Akshatha Rao, Erica Rendler, Melissa Sandy, Delkash Shahriarian

  • USA Cricket: 2012 ICC World Twenty20 Qualifier Report Card Part 3 - Outlook for WCL Division Four

    Now, you can get all the USA Cricket updates via Facebook.   Also follow us on Twitter via @dreamcricket

    By Peter Della Penna (on Twitter)

    Click here for Part 1: Team Grades and Part 2: Player Grades

    What the team needs heading into ICC WCL Division Four

    Preparation: The following quote is taken from the report card that was written after the 2011 ICC Americas Division One Twenty20 tournament in July.

    “When the team went to Dubai in 2010 for the last World Twenty20 Qualifier, they got to play two warm-up matches against the UAE before the tournament started and wound up finishing fifth after beating Scotland and losing to Ireland and Afghanistan. They’ll need something more significant in terms of preparation prior to leaving for Dubai to have any hope of finishing in the top two in next year’s qualifier. There is currently nothing scheduled for the men’s team between now and March when the Qualifier is due to be held so making plans to fill that gap in the calendar should be a high priority.”

    If the USACA administration was able to arrange a four-match 50-over series in Florida for the USA U-19 team against West Indies U-19 before heading off to Ireland for last summer’s ICC U-19 World Cup Qualifier, the administration should have been able to make a few phone calls to organize some unofficial Twenty20 fixtures to be played in late December or early January in Florida against some of the West Indian domestic teams such as Jamaica, Guyana or Trinidad & Tobago for the USA men. West Indies A played a series of unofficial matches against Bangladesh A in November and something similar could have been designed for USA against one of the islands during the gap in the West Indies domestic calendar ahead of the Caribbean T20 tournament in January.

    The administration failed to prepare the team for this tournament and as a result the team was prepared to fail. In the seven and a half months that followed USA’s second place finish at the ICC Americas Division One Twenty20 tournament in July, next to nothing was done. USA played three Twenty20s in Canada in August, but because USA was only confirmed to participate a week before the start of the Etihad Summer Cricket Festival, a B squad was sent to play in Toronto.

    Of the players who participated for USA in the event against Canada, Afghanistan and Trinidad & Tobago, only two of them were picked in the 14-man squad to go to the UAE – Muhammad Ghous and Andy Mohammed – while Japen Patel joined as an injury replacement. For the other 12 players in the team that went to the UAE this month, the only matches they got to play together in a USA uniform between July and the first match against Uganda were three warm-ups in Sharjah a few days before the qualifier began.

    Compare that to Namibia, who like USA is not one of the six ICC High Performance Program teams. Like USA, they played their ICC Regional Qualifier in July and finished second at the ICC Africa Division One Twenty20. However, they had a plan in place that resulted in an undefeated 7-0 record in Group B. When Scotland visited to play an Intercontinental Cup match and two 50-over games in September, Namibia arranged for them to stay an extra week into October so they could play five unofficial Twenty20s against each other. Scotland won four of the five, but the preparation and familiarity with their opposition certainly helped Namibia when they hammered Scotland at the qualifier.

    Then, completely independent of any ICC tournament obligations whatsoever, Namibia hosted Kenya for eight unofficial Twenty20 matches in November. They won six matches and lost two, but most importantly got to try out various combinations and roles to see what worked best. Namibia also plays in South Africa’s provincial three-day and 50-over competitions, but they specifically sought out Twenty20 practice matches independent of that to get their players geared up for the qualifier and it paid off.

    Conversely, USA’s administration sat on their hands. As a result, the coaching staff was trialing combinations and roles during the tournament rather than ahead of the tournament. It cost the team badly. Previous evidence shows that USA takes a long time to get into a good rhythm when they enter an ICC tournament which takes place in the northern hemisphere winter, outside of USA’s domestic club cricket season. They needed all the help they could get ahead of this tournament to get prepared. Instead, the administration thought that a three-day selection camp in January followed by a series of weekly conference calls before leaving on March 6 for the UAE would bring good results. USA’s 3-6 tournament record demonstrates what a folly that was.

    Anyone looking to make excuses for USA’s performance at the qualifier by saying that it’s unfair to compare USA with the upper echelon Associate level teams is doing just that, making excuses. Entering the 2012 ICC World Twenty20 Qualifier, USA had beaten Scotland, Canada, Nepal, Italy and Hong Kong in either 50-over or 20-over matches since the start of 2010. Scotland finished fifth and Canada sixth at the qualifier. Nepal finished seventh, Italy 10th and Hong Kong 11th.

    Image (right) - Aditya Mishra hits a six against Scotland in USA's seven-wicket win. If they can finish comfortably on top against Scotland, there's no reason USA can't stand toe-to-toe with any other Associate. [Courtesy: ICC/Ian Jacobs]

    USA’s talent matches up well with any of those teams. Scotland played in the Intercontinental Cup final at the end of 2010. USA beat them convincingly at the World Twenty20 Qualifier in 2010 and they beat them convincingly at the World Twenty20 Qualifier in 2012. The fact is that USA’s players are talented enough and capable of competing with any team that was in the tournament, including Ireland and Afghanistan. However, that can’t be done by standing idle for seven and a half months while other countries are playing together regularly.


    Selecting players for roles: One of the most amusing things to go back and read on the forums after the end of a match are comments left by fans and supporters that say something along the lines of, “Player X opens for his club/league/region team. Why is he batting at number seven for USA?” One of the only players who bats in the same role for his club/league/region as he does when he has played for the national team is Aditya Thyagarajan. Not surprisingly, Thyagarajan has had success playing in the middle order for USA because he is familiar and comfortable there due to the fact that he fills the same role for his club/region.

    Every other player picked for USA opens or bats at number three for their club/league/region. Then they come to play for USA and are asked to bat at 5, 6, 7 or 8 and have no situational experience to draw upon. They are used to starting the innings and dictating the course of play. For the most part, they have no concept of how to respond when they enter at 30 for 4 or 40 for 5 when playing for the national team because they’ve never had to do it at club/league/regional level. They struggle and the team struggles as a result. More attention needs to be placed on picking players for roles. USA is guilty of this at U-19 level as well as senior level in terms of squad selection. It makes no sense picking eight opening batsmen when only two can play in that position for the national team.


    Get people playing regularly on turf wickets: The vast majority of USA’s squad had limited international experience prior to this tournament. The vast majority of them also had limited experience playing on turf wickets. Two players who play on turf wickets on a weekly basis at Woodley in Los Angeles – Abhimanyu Rajp and Elmore Hutchinson – were two of USA’s most impressive players on tour despite the fact that they were making their debuts for USA. That’s no coincidence. USA’s batsmen in particular struggled and part of those struggles can be pinned on failing to adjust to turf wickets after playing virtually year round on artificial surfaces. It will continue to be this way until the administration makes infrastructure development a top priority.


    Hire a full-time coach/team director: This was discussed in November, but it’s worth revisiting here. Just about every player had positive things to say about Robin Singh and his involvement with the squad. Singh was with the team during the warm-up and group phase, then flew back to India after USA’s final group match against Scotland. Everyone felt they learned something from him over the course of their time with him.

    However, USACA is wasting precious funds by just throwing money at him to show up for two weeks and disappear again. USACA must bring him on board full-time and have him work with the various regions on a regular basis by developing programs geared to get everyone on the same page and he has to work with the national team inside the USA ahead of tours as well. It’s no use having him just show up at tournament time. He needs to be on site on a regular basis.


    Hire a proper physio:
    Throwing a first aid kit bag over a USACA board member’s shoulder doesn’t count. The person USACA has been sending on every tour to be the team physio is licensed in the state of Illinois to be a Physical Therapist Assistant (PTA). He is not licensed to be a Physical Therapist (PT). According to the Illinois Physical Therapy Association, there is a very big difference between the two.

    Physical Therapist

    “Physical therapists must graduate from an accredited educational program with a master's or doctoral degree. After completing your education, you will be required to pass a licensure examination before you can work as a PT. Coursework includes biology, chemistry, and physics, as well as specialized courses such as biomechanics, neuroanatomy, human growth and development, manifestations of disease, examination techniques, and therapeutic procedures.”

    Physical Therapist Assistant

    “Physical Therapist Assistants graduate from a 2 year program, earning an associates degree from an accredited physical therapist assistant program. PTAs also must pass a licensure examination to work as a PTA. PTAs perform a number of physical therapy treatments and procedures as determined by the supervising physical therapist.”

    There are plenty of 27 and 28-year-old newly licensed physical therapists fresh out of completing a master's or doctoral degree at university with the latest training methods in sports medicine who would give their right arm for an opportunity to work for a few weeks on tour for a USA national team in any sport. Many of them would probably do it pro bono as long as their expenses were taken care of. The selectors showed in January that they were keen to find some fresh blood to represent the team. With that spirit in mind, the same should be done for the next tour by bringing along a new fully licensed, freshly trained physical therapist.


    A healthy Aditya Thyagarajan: If USA’s middle order man for all crises can return to full fitness after more than a year away from the national team, he would provide priceless stability to the batting. To give fans a reminder of what USA has been missing, here’s a look at some of Thyagarajan’s highlights in a red, white and blue uniform:

    November 27, 2008: Enters match at 114 for 4, builds 119-run partnership with Rashard Marshall for the sixth wicket. Finishes second top score behind Marshall with 42 in total of 254 for 7 before eventual 86-run win over Bermuda.

    Image (left) - Aditya Thyagarajan in action against Canada in 2008. [Courtesy: ICC]

    November 29, 2008: Enters match at 59 for 4, builds 105-run partnership with Orlando Baker for the seventh wicket. Top score of 84 not out in total of 201 for 8 in USA’s eventual 81-run win over Canada.

    February 10, 2010: Enters match at 11 for 5 in fourth over, builds 99-run unbeaten partnership with Orlando Baker for the seventh wicket. Top score of 72 not out in 78-run loss to Ireland at ICC World Twenty20 Qualifier.

    February 23, 2010: Enters match at 55 for 5 in 23rd over, builds 118-run partnership with Carl Wright for the sixth wicket. Builds 80-run unbeaten partnership with Rashard Marshall for seventh wicket. Top score of 83 not out in USA’s 66-run win over Jersey.

    February 26, 2010: With USA needing 163 to win in 50 overs, enters chase at 112 for 5 in 29th over. Builds 47-run unbeaten partnership with Sushil Nadkarni for the sixth wicket. Scores 18 not out in five-wicket win over Nepal amidst crowd rioting.

    May 28, 2010: Enters match at 91 for 4, builds 213-run partnership with Orlando Baker for the fifth wicket. Top score of 159 in total of 347 for 6 in USA’s eventual 119-run win over Argentina.

    June 6, 2010: With USA needing 101 to win in 20 overs, enters chase at 60 for 4 in 10th over. Builds 37-run unbeaten partnership with Carl Wright for the sixth wicket. Top score of 27 not out as USA wins ICC Americas Division One Twenty20 title over Canada by five wickets with nine balls to spare.

    August 20, 2010: Enters match at 17 for 5 in fifth over, builds 84-run partnership with Lennox Cush for the sixth wicket. Builds 205-run unbeaten partnership with Rashard Marshall for the seventh wicket. Scores 102 not out in total of 306 for 6 before eventual 196-run win over Argentina.

    Call him the Iceman, the Insurance Policy, the Stick of Glue… call him whatever you want, Thyagarajan was USA’s middle order. USA hasn’t been the same since he went down with a dislocated right knee against Denmark in Hong Kong more than a year ago at ICC WCL Division Three. He’s progressed enough in rehab to be playing club cricket for Hollywood CC in the SCCA, but he needs to get 100% fit and back into a USA uniform for ICC WCL Division Four. USA is a different team with him in the lineup and the younger players can learn a huge amount by observing him and the way he approaches each innings.


    The return of Steve Massiah: Massiah has never been a good performer in Twenty20 cricket so it’s doubtful he would have caused a change in fortunes for USA had he been with the squad in the UAE. However, he still offers value to USA in the 50-over format. Now that his legal matter has been resolved, it opens the door for him to come back and bolster USA’s middle order for WCL Division Four.

    With Massiah and Thyagarajan in the lineup, USA should feel more confident about its chances of progressing from Division Four - where they'll be up against Denmark, Malaysia, Nepal, Singapore and Tanzania - back into Division Three. The four teams in Division Three awaiting the two sides to get promoted from Division Four are Bermuda, Italy, Oman and Uganda. On paper, Division Four is going to be more difficult than Division Three. USA will need all hands on deck to progress out of Division Four and Massiah will be one of the players who has to step up.


    Finding a wicketkeeper: Since 2010, USA has used Carl Wright, Orlando Baker, Ashhar Mehdi, Steven Taylor, Ritesh Kadu, Akeem Dodson and Nauman Mustafa in the specialist position. Taylor was forced into the role on this tour when it wasn’t the original plan, but he is not a long term solution and should only be used to keep wicket in emergency situations. Otherwise, Taylor should be playing as a specialist batsman.

    USA’s handling of Mustafa on this tour was reminiscent of their handling of Durale Forrest in Hong Kong. The coaching staff killed Mustafa’s confidence by dropping him and handing the gloves over to Taylor rather than show faith in Mustafa after a rough first game behind the stumps against Uganda. Forrest didn’t even get the benefit of a game before his confidence was shattered. He had to watch as a 46-year-old assistant coach was added to the roster and walked right into the starting XI before he could even make his debut.

    USACA has also done wonders to put a major dent in Akeem Dodson’s development. The 24-year-old won the Best Wicketkeeper Award at the ICC Americas tournament in July, but USACA sent invitations out to a half-dozen other wicketkeepers for January’s selection camp. Mustafa succeeded in knocking the incumbent out, but couldn’t cement his position once on tour and that caused a major headache for the squad during and after the tournament. It's highly likely that USA will be going back to the drawing board once again for a different wicketkeeper when WCL Division Four comes around after Mustafa's underwhelming performance in the UAE.

    The bottom line is someone needs to step up to fill the role ahead of WCL Division Four. The wicketkeeper position figures to be one of at least two roster spots in the team up for grabs heading into the senior team’s next international commitment. Adil Bhatti might be able to fight off a few challengers to remain in the squad, but if Timroy Allen or Rashard Marshall show interest in recommitting themselves to the national team, they would be too difficult to pass up. Here’s a projected lineup for USA at Division Four with two roster spots left unnamed.

    1. Steven Taylor
    2. Aditya Mishra (vice-captain)
    3. Sushil Nadkarni (captain)
    4. Steve Massiah
    5. Aditya Thyagarajan
    6. Orlando Baker
    7. Wicketkeeper - Up for grabs
    8. Elmore Hutchinson
    9. Usman Shuja
    10. Abhimanyu Rajp
    11. Muhammad Ghous

    12th man: Ryan Corns
    13th man: Asif Khan
    14th man: Up for grabs

    [Views expressed in this article are those of the author who was present at all of the team's matches. If you have differing views or opinions, we respect those views and urge you to provide your feedback - both positive and negative - in the comments section.]

  • Lessons to Obama Courtesy of USA cricket

    Now, you can get all the USA Cricket updates via Facebook.   Also follow us on Twitter via @dreamcricket

    By Venu Palaparthi

    Comments

    [This is a satirical article.  Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental except in the case of a very famous former president and his impressions on cricket.]

    Dear President Obama:

    With the elections around the corner, here are five priceless lessons on how to remain in power for a second term (or, if you prefer, as many years as you want).   

    You should know your history, Mr. President.  Cricket and US presidency share some historic connections.  John Adams, the first Vice President of USA and our great nation's second President, told the Congress that leaders of simple cricket clubs were called "presidents."  He argued that the leader of USA should be called something more grand like His High Mightiness.   President Adams thought that the title of president was the "most superlatively ridiculous."  

    As it turns out, he did not prevail, the result of which is that you are called the President today and the title of His High Mightiness might rightly belong in cricket administration.

    But I digress, Mr. President.  Thanks to cricket, there may still be some other superlatively ridiculous stuff for you to learn about safe-guarding your presidency.   Remember, they don't teach this stuff at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government.   So next time you play air-cricket with Brian Lara, don't forget to thank him.

    Lesson #1:  Don't hold an election that you cannot win.  

    It is better to postpone an election than let your opponents win.  When in doubt, postpone.   It also has the additional benefit of extending your term even if you were to somehow get defeated eventually. 

    Your constitution does not allow it?  Don't let trivial things like the constitution determine how long you are in power.  

    Just tell people you are conducting a review of every voter's long-form birth certificate and vaguely suggest to them that all elections may be on hold until the review is completed.  "This is simply not cricket," you say?   This is cricket in your country.

    Lesson #2:  Know the outcome, then reverse engineer!

    Everyone wants to win.  But you are in power, so use it to your advantage Mr. President.  Campaigns, manifestos, democracy - those are relics of a bygone era.  

    Focus on the outcome.  Figure out who might vote for you.  Then, make sure they are the majority.  [For how, see Lessons 3 thru 5].  

    Reverse-engineering runs against the very spirit of democracy, you say?   C'mon Mr. President.  Don't forget that the only "spirit" you see in some of the world's biggest democracies is the "spirit" that flows freely come election time.

    You say the international community would never allow that?   Once again, look no further than cricket for inspiration.  ICC, which is the international cricket body swears by "spirit of cricket,"  and has even enshrined it in the game's laws.    But they simply are too preoccupied to care about things like election process, unless there were TV rights associated with it.

    Lesson #3:  Deny, disqualify, disregard!

    Start with those red states, Mr. President.   Deny them the vote.  On what grounds, you ask?  Be inventive Mr. President.  May be they have not done enough to improve their real estate prices,  their math scores, or perhaps a majority of their people haven't paid their taxes by April 15th.   Figure something out that will get those states off the electoral map.  Don't just stop with those red states.  There are red zones in every blue state will soon be large enough to disrupt your influence.

    You are afraid that your own government has had difficulty with these parameters at the national level?   You are over-analyzing, Mr. President.  Those rules only apply to the voters.

    You are worried that roughly half the country might not vote?   Draw some courage from cricket, Mr. President.   A good two-thirds of USA's cricket leagues have been disenfranchised in the forthcoming election.   It doesn't harm your electoral chances at all if you disregard those that are screaming their lungs out.

    Lesson #4: Offer incentives to only those who have been granted the vote.

    Here's a secret, Mr. President.  Collect taxes from everyone, but offer rewards only to those that can vote.   For better effect, make an announcement just before the election, so that it remains fresh in the voters' memory.   

    That sounds like a bribe, you fear?   Let me clarify.  When cash is offered by candidates from their own pockets in the developing nations, those are bribes.  This is a tax-payer paid "grant." 

    To make it look even less like an inducement, tie it to something that looks like you care.  Give every voting family a "math improvement" or "timely tax payment" grant.   The beauty of it is that there is no cost to the exchequer.  

    Once again, look for precedents in cricket.  One non-voting cricket league in your own region paid enough to fund grants for the three voting leagues.

    Lesson #5:  Never lose control of the final results.

    Elections are never transparent, Mr. President.  The votes are held in really opaque boxes.  Elections are only transparent when they produce the right result.  If you feel that the election is not going your way, block the results and announce fresh elections.   Then get back to reverse engineering the desired outcome.

    If the results have already been announced by over-enthusiastic election overseers, be comfortable in the knowledge that gerrymandering is not just a word in the dictionary.  

    You have a lot of options Mr. President.   Like disqualifying entire regions and announcing redistricting reviews.   If you have any questions on how to block nay-sayers from getting to vote, feel free to google USA cricket.    

    Follow these lessons and you will never bat on a sticky wicket.

    Thank you Mr. President.  

    A cricket loving American.

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