Search results matching tag 'BCCI'

Carry on Doctor Dhoni

namya — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 13:15:00 GMT

It has been reliably learnt that the De Montfort University in Leicester is revoking the ‘honorary’ doctorate conferred by it on MS Dhoni. The University which had praised Dhoni’s exemplary leadership qualities and his achievements before making him an Honorary Doctor of Letters has said that it now believes that MSD actually deserves to be a Medical Doctor instead of an honorary one. The reasons for which the Honorary Doctorate was given, it says, don’t sound too convincing after his team’s performance in England.

It further states that since MSD has attended to all possible types of ailments and injuries in a matter of just about 2 months now has all the skills required to be a GP as well as some other specializations like Orthopedics, ENT, Neurology and Gynecology. It cites Sachin Tendulkar’s fever and upset stomach as a case fit for a GP. Rohit Sharma, Yuvraj Singh, Zak, Bhajji’s fractures/muscle pulls have sharpened his Orthopedic skills, Viru’s ear infection tested his ENT knowledge, Gauti’s head injury was a head ache for him.

After a pregnant pause, the citation states that witnessing so many deliveries from his bowlers, he has the absolute right to be called a Gynecologist.

What the citation has failed to mention is that Dr. Dhoni's patience is running thin with so many patients around him.

It has been pointed out by experts that the citation misses another specialization which that he is a practicing veterinarian for all the donkeys in his team. Some other experts pointed out that there were other animals in the team like Praveen Kumar (workhorse) and Raina (chicken).

When a wag commented that the only thing MSD hasn’t been credited with specializing in was being a psychiatrist, it was pointed out that players with psychological problems fell only in the English domain and Andrew Strauss holds that degree after experiencing first hand Marcus Trescothick and Michael Yardy.

NC has also learnt that the University maybe offering a peace prize to BCCI. After being slapped on one Cheeka, it is still offering the same Cheeka again.

English tour exposes BCCI's skewed priorities

openingbat — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 01:17:00 GMT

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By Suresh Menon

Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings and chief of selectors. “The batting did not click for us,” Krishnamachari Srikkanth has pointed out with devastating honesty. “We also did not do well in bowling and fielding.” As a summing up of India’s performance in England, that can’t be bettered. So what were India good at? Appealing? Arriving at the grounds on time? Who is responsible for the terrible performance?

“Nobody is to be blamed,” says Srikkanth. As brand ambassador of the Chennai Super Kings, which is owned by the Board Secretary N Srinivasan and is led by the Indian captain, Srikkanth is entitled to his opinion. Of course no one is to be blamed. Just as no one is to be blamed for the Great Train Robbery or the galloping price of petrol or the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.

“Let us not indulge in the blame game – on the players, or the administrators or the BCCI,” he clarifies. Who does that leave, gentle reader? People like you and me – we are responsible for the disaster that was the England tour. Unfortunately, Srikkanth doesn’t explain just how, but we can guess. Perhaps it is because we supported the IPL so thoroughly that there was no focus on Test cricket. Perhaps it is because we insisted that India prepare for a major tour of England by not preparing at all. Perhaps we were wrong to allow Virender Sehwag to play only 11 IPL games before his dodgy shoulder was fixed.

You can fool us, Srikkanth but you can’t bribe the gods of cricket. The comeuppance was swift and severe. Two first-ball ducks in a single Test.

You can pretend that Zaheer is fit, or allow the bowler himself to hide his real condition, but you can’t bribe the gods of cricket. Suddenly, India were not only a bowler short, they were a whole bowling attack short.

You can’t refuse to see the decline of your leading spinner from an attacking wicket-taker to a defensive run-saver and hope that when you keep your eyes closed the rest of the world can’t see too.

“Now that we have lost,” says the chairman of selectors putting on his philosopher’s hat, “we have to accept the loss.” In other words, let us do what we have been doing all these years – nothing.

While there is something charming and adult about accepting loss and moving on, it would have been nice to see the chief selector a little more worried than all that. Or is it only that the fans feel bad, while the officials merely see the defeat as just another day in the office? If you don’t feel badly at the loss, how will you ensure things change? You don’t have to feel so bad that you stone M S Dhoni’s house, but you have to feel bad enough so you try to get things back in order.

Between now and September 2012, India are scheduled to play 106 days of international cricket. Then there is the Champions League and the IPL. It is not a huge number (even allowing for travel), but there is the question of balance. How do you ensure that the team is prepared well enough for a particular series? The next major tour is to Australia in December. And guess what? Only one match, against the Chairman’s XI in Canberra, has been scheduled before the first Test.

Sadly, unlike astronauts who can get a feel of space travel in simulations at NASA, Australian conditions cannot be simulated in our cricket academies. The best preparation for playing in Australia is playing in Australia. One match – the same as in England before the Test series there – is woefully inadequate, as India have been discovering with embarrassing frequency on virtually all their recent tours.

Another India captain has been more forthright. Tiger Pataudi has said, “I fear the players are going to say it's only a bad dream, just forget it and get on. The BCCI is not going to show a great deal of vision. Cricket will continue the way it is but I sincerely hope that some sense does come in.”

The English tour might have shown up some of the players, but mainly it has exposed the BCCI’s skewed priorities, and its lack of respect for the game. The gods of cricket are angry, and can be mollified only if they are approached with humility and common sense.

BCCI should learn from Dravid's brand of professionalism

openingbat — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 02:32:00 GMT

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By Suresh Menon

Rahul Dravid plays his cards close to his chest, so we will not know how close he came to telling the selectors to walk off a cliff (or its many physically impossible variants) when he awoke one morning and found himself in the one-day squad. It is a tribute to his decency that he accepted the assignment and to his professionalism that he celebrated by announcing his retirement from the shorter forms of the game. Few players have been jerked around as much as Dravid has in the course of a distinguished career. This is ironical since few have contributed as much with as little complaint as the Bangalorean.

When flat-pitch bullies, of which there are a few in the Indian team, are exposed on tracks outside India, the selectors turn to Dravid. And he obliges. Scores runs, keeps danger at bay. And as a reward, he is dropped from home series where the FPB (flat-pitch bullies) are reinstated. And he never complains.

Unlike V V S Laxman, another player who was jerked around initially, and Sachin Tendulkar who bats at number four, Dravid has seldom been given the choice when the going has got tough. Dravid is the cricketer’s cricketer, the consummate professional, and the glue that has held the Indian team together for a decade and a half.

As one of only five batsman in the game to have scored over 10,000 runs in both forms of the game, Dravid has nothing left to prove. Yet he will be up for the challenge one last time in England. His presence will be as much a tribute to his greatness as to the desperation of the team which won the World Cup (without Dravid) only four months ago.

What does Dravid’s comeback after two years out of the team say about the state of India’s one-day game? The selection committee has given it a positive spin, saying it is sensible to pick the batsman in form. This was not something that occurred to them in two years; as recently as in the West Indies, the committee didn’t think it worthwhile to ask Rohit Sharma, the batsman in form in the one-dayers to stay back for the Test series.

The only batsman missing from the team that played the final against Sri Lanka in April is Yuvraj Singh who is injured. A combination of poor form, injury and lack of fitness has paved the way for the oldest active international cricketer to return to a format he served with great distinction till, illogically, he was kept out of it.

The recall is also the early warning system telling us what to expect when the triumvirate of Tendulkar-Dravid-Laxman bids goodbye. Suddenly the batting cupboard is empty, the bowling cupboard is ill-stocked (leading to the return of R P Singh who last played a Test three years ago and didn’t take a wicket in his last three Tests), and drought and despair stare the team in the face. Planning has not been the strong point of the administrators who must take the blame for this unhappy state of affairs.

The sad thing is, even if India lose 4-0 in England, the Board of Control for Cricket in India will continue to make the same mistakes on future tours, giving the team little time to acclimatise, focussed more on lapping up the last rupee available than on sending out teams in peak form.

At the individual level, Dravid’s recall is a tribute to his fitness and professionalism; at the national level it is an indictment of a system that cannot see beyond the its nose. The BCCI has much to learn from Dravid’s brand of fitness and professionalism.

BCCI should take a call on which player deserves a rest

openingbat — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 02:04:00 GMT

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By Sunil Gavaskar

India’s defeats in the first two Tests has inevitably prompted plenty of criticism much of it warranted and some a bit harsh. That’s the hazard of being an India cricketer of course. The brickbats are more than the bouquets. When the team won the World Cup the country’s joy knew no bounds and the players were feted by all and sundry and deservedly so.

The country had been waiting for this moment since 1983 and when it came all dams burst and the outpouring of gifts was spontaneous. Even the BCCI, normally so tight when parting with money doubled its prize after the players cleverly planted some stories in the media about how the earlier amount was not enough for their efforts.

If anything, the win instead of galavanising the players made them complacent which is a typical Indian trait. Some of the players took Indian cricket for granted by deciding to play in the IPL despite not being fit and thus jeopardising their chances of playing for India. Some pulled out with illness, some wanted time with family, some just wanted rest from international cricket. They could have had all that by resting from the IPL and thus keeping themselves fresh for India’s matches but the pull of the IPL contract and the glamour of the tournament meant that the IPL was preferred to Indian cricket.

The BCCI despite knowing the situation and having the players under contract looked the other way and who can blame them? How would it look if a World Cup winning player was told to rest from the IPL, the BCCI's own domestic tournament to get fit for India’s international commitments later? The reaction would have been as hypocritical as the British medias has been on Mahendra Singh Dhoni’s decision to withdraw the appeal against Ian Bell and allow him to continue his innings. The Brit media went to town about the laws of the game being trampled for the unwritten spirit of cricket. The same media would have had Dhoni for breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner for the rest of the summer if Dhoni had not withdrawn the appeal and called him, the team, the BCCI all kinds of cheats etc.

How out of tune they were, became evident when the jeers for the Indian team turned to cheers as soon as the crowd saw Ian Bell resuming his innings. It is the crowd that pays good money and support the game that matters and not those who pontificate about laws and spirit of the game. The crowd realised that Dhoni had taken a call in the larger interests of the game and with that had also sent a message that despite India not being in a good position at that time his team would not resort to methods that don’t go with the way we have been brought up to play the game.

International sport is about being in peak physical and mental shape and that comes with being challenged regularly. Look at the McEnroes and Borgs who took a sabbatical from the game at the time they were dominating it and found that suddenly others had come in and were now winning. McEnroe and Borg were never able to recapture their form simply because the game had got a bit faster and the absence from competition had dulled their reflexes and stymied their mental responses to crises.

Have a look at the two guys who are doing better than others, Rahul Dravid and VVS Laxman. They have been playing in the West Indies and so are in good shape physically and mentally to take on England. Dravid has got three centuries in the five Tests from the West Indies and that’s simply because he has stayed with the competition. How come nobody mentions fatigue about the oldest player in the team. He played in the IPL too so it’s not as if he had been resting and then came to West Indies. The others may well get there but it could be a long process by which time the England series could well be lost.

The problem is that India does not have the bench strength which can put the current guys under pressure and which is why they know they can take a break and still come back in the team. If Abhinav Mukund had converted the starts he got into hundreds how could anybody come in his place however good he may be.

If India are to be the number one team then they should be led by BCCI who should take a call on how much cricket is good for a player and which player deserves a rest and when. It should not be left to the player to decide for he will invariably take a decision which is good for him but may not be so for Indian cricket. It is not rocket science at all but plain common sense but sometimes even good men lose that don’t they?

BCCI and FA

namya — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 17:16:00 GMT

After hearing so much about the BCCI's supposed arrogance about UDRS matters from Swann, Tremlett and countless other experts on UDRS, one read this great article about the English FA. But before that lets talk about how its a win win situation for the India team critics.

If India gets a few critical decisions in their favour, critics will say, 'they won because we didn't have UDRS'. If India loses because of a few umpiring errors (which most people are hoping), they say, they are the ones who didn't want the UDRS so tey deserve it. I have read some joker (of India origin) saying that because the BCCI doesn't play at the big cricket centers in India, they are being cocky against the 'ENGLISH' fans... Mate!! I stay in Mumbai and I want to watch a Test match too.. but not against England.. boring.....zzzz.... Net net Swann thinks Indians are running scared of him because he gets more LBWs tha Bhajji.. He is a joker so leave him to be.

Now the English FA went ahead and made some grand announcement about how a unified football team would play the London Olympics. And look at the responses they got from the other Celtics. Also remember the English FA talked about getting an unconditional ok from FIFA, the same body they have been ranting against when they lost out on the hosting right of the football WC.

So the FA is not arrogant. BCCI is!! ANd thank you the English press. If and when my kid asks me about what a two faced monster means, I just have to show them this post.

NDTV v/s Ten Cricket

namya — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 19:11:00 GMT

Cricket- The Republic of India

ICC - The government of India (currently The UPA)

o See no evil, hear no evil, and don't utter a single word.

BCCI - (at present) The Congress Party

Success is theirs', failure is ICC's ineptness
May have infighting and show it openly to the world too but in the end it's all in the family.
ResponSibbal to no one

IPL - Wealth of the nation

Concentrated in the hands of a few rich, powerful and well connected people.

PCB - (at present) The Opposition

No players in the IPL so don't get their share of the IPL moolah
Wants to head the ICC again but the BCCI scrapped the rotation system in the previous Lok Sabha elections
Will take every opportunity to heckle the ICC

Experts - Media

Allegiance to money and ideology; most ideologies stem out from the source of money

Spectators - Indian Citizens

No say in the running of the administration
Doesn't matter who is in power, their lives remain unchanged

This is not an exhaustive list of the parallels between the state of Cricket as a sport and the Republic of India. It is also not a political statement in the sense that the ICC in the next elections can be the NDA and the BCCI can be the RSS. The bottom line is that Cricket and India are both run like personal fiefdoms and the common man/ cricket lovers are short charged in the process.

The anger of a small minority from the civil society is being expressed in the country through the support to peaceful protests against corruption but such a possibility to rid cricket of its many challenges may be a bit ahead of its time.

This is also not a call to support any particular cause. This is a sports blog and will remain so. But the raving and ranting on TV news channels that one had to endure because of the boring ODI series made one think.

Article contributed by fakepradeepmagazine

Not Cricket's final conclusion though, is that watching BP XI playing Windies is a better alternative.

Will India's cricket administrators learn from the players?

openingbat — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 19:16:00 GMT

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By Suresh Menon

The World Cup merely confirmed what everybody has known for some time now. That India are the centre of the cricketing universe. This has been the case financially for at least a decade. Last year India emerged as the No 1 Test-playing nation. And although Australia are still ahead of them in one-day internationals, for the next four years at least no one can take away the tag of world champions from India.

There was an inevitability about India’s success in the final against Sri Lanka that had begun to reveal itself from the quarterfinals. India defeated each of the former champions. They already had the best batting side, and once the fielding improved they looked a different unit altogether. In the early games, skipper Mahendra Singh Dhoni threw up his hands in despair every time fielding was mentioned.

There was a crucial baton-passing. With the failures of Virender Sehwag and Sachin Tendulkar throwing a nation into temporary depression, it was the batters of the next generation, Gautam Gambhir and Virat Kohli who set them on course before Dhoni dropped himself into the cauldron and came up with a jewel of an innings.

When Sachin Tendulkar – with a world champion’s medal at his sixth attempt – was carried on Kohli’s shoulder after the match, the younger man said, “He has been carrying us on his shoulders for so long, this was nothing,” thus mixing the symbolic and the literal but leaving no doubt as to his meaning.

Since at least 1996, India have gone into every World Cup as one of the favourites, and in 2003 made the final only to be whipped by Australia. This was clearly the last chance for a whole generation of players.

Dhoni tried to put the win in perspective by pointing to the recent successes of Indian shooters, badminton and chess players. But cricket attracts the lion’s share of public interest, sponsorship and television money, and that is only likely to grow. Should India win the Davis Cup, the number of youngsters taking up tennis is not comparable to the numbers that will be attracted to cricket, already the most important sport in India, after the World Cup. Politicians have promised all kinds of goodies as part of their exercise in climbing on to the bandwagon (and brandwagon). Cricketers guarantee publicity like nobody else.

By winning the World Cup India might have breathed life into the 50-over format that was on the verge of dying out once T20 made its appearance.

With the epicentre of the game having shifted to Asia (three Asian teams were in the semifinals), the danger is that boards that abhor both transparency and accountability will be running the world game. Pakistan’s administration is in a mess following the recent terror attacks on the touring Sri Lankan team, the charges of match-fixing which saw them lose three talented players, and the corruption and indifference of the cricket board. Sri Lanka haven’t had proper elections to their board in over five years. India are money-obsessed when they are not indulging in muscle-flexing and telling the world who is boss.

The equation between power and responsibility will have to be worked out if the cricketing world is not to be split along the lines of the haves and the have-nots . England and Australia officially lost their power of veto in 1993, but India continue to exercise their unofficial veto thanks to their financial muscle.

The World Cup win is a great opportunity to move away from confrontation and towards greater co-operation. Dhoni and his men have increased the power of the Indian administrators. The players have shown themselves to be a hard-working professional lot who are willing to make sacrifices for the game. If they inspire the administrators to do the same, then this might be a significant turning point in world cricket.

The Crickileaks Part I

namya — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 18:19:00 GMT

With all these leaks happening in our world today and all the ‘gates’ money (Adarsh Gate, 2G Gate) making much more money than gate collections at most Test centres in the world and maybe even more than Bill from Microsoft, who may earn a bit less daily, one decided to try and get a leak, err, rather look for oneself.

In this Universe of ours we have Wikileaks, which has unearthed many secret (?) cable messages that were accessible to only a few lakh people in a system. One can't believe that a country that invented Hotmail, sent its secret service messages via cable when an encrypted e-mail message would have been safer. Especially when it’s cheaper to send. Now we know one of the reasons why the US is in such BIG financial trouble.

In our Universe we had this story coming out this week:

Secret American intelligence assessments have concluded that Iran has obtained a cache of advanced missiles, based on a Russian design, that are much more powerful than anything Washington has publicly conceded that Tehran has in its arsenal, diplomatic cables show. The missiles could for the first time give Iran the capacity to strike at capitals in Western Europe or easily reach Moscow.

In a parallel Universe called @theashes that is governed by completely different laws of nature, where Baseball and Football (not Soccer, mind you) hold roost, Rickyreeks, another of those websites that squeal have obtained the following cable:

Secret BCCI intelligence assessments have concluded that the Rest of the World (ROW) has obtained a cache of advanced technology, based on a British design called the Hawkeye, that is much more powerful than anything BCCI has publicly conceded that the ROW has in its arsenal, diplomatic cables show. The technology could for the nth time give the ROW the capacity to strike at the heart of the BCCI’s popularity, i.e., it’s country’s Test ranking. The weapon maybe double edged though but the BCCI refuses to believe as such.

In another parallel Universe called Ozpeaks, we reveal the following secret:

Secret Australian intelligence assessments have concluded that England has obtained a cache of advanced players, based on a Kolpak design, that are much more powerful than anything Australia has publicly conceded that Britain has in its arsenal, diplomatic cables show. The Kolpaks could for almost the first time in last 20 years give England the capacity to strike for the Ashes in Australia.

In the ‘Modified’ Universe the same leak had a much more serious tone to it:

Secret BCCI intelligence assessments have concluded that Lalit Modi obtained a cache of advanced cricketing entertainment, based on a Desi design called the ICL, that is much more powerful than anything BCCI has publicly conceded that Lalit had in his arsenal, diplomatic cables show. The technology could for the nth time give Lalit Modi, the capacity to strike at the heart of the BCCI’s popularity, the threat is eliminated now.

Remember there are many Wikileaks stories about drunken orgies and requests to decimate opponents (Lahore?). Just imagine what the parallel Universes hide. That’s a promise; not a threat. And one is not an Australian citizen like Julian Assange to be politely asked about the validity of his citizenship so one rests assured, for now!

The Glass Ki Gull Act

namya — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 02:58:00 GMT

People have always looked at things from different perspectives. There has been debate from time immemorial about a fast moving aerial object being a bird, a plane, superman, a UFO or a ball hit by Virender Sehwag or his ilk from the past era. Diversity is celebrated in most forward looking organisations and NC being no exception and embedded with a deep sense of CSR will never lag behind in such endeavours.

NC has conducted a survey among some notable thinkers of the current generation on their views on a half full/empty glass of drinking water. Here are a few interesting viewpoints that have been carefully selected by NC out of the thousands interviewed.

Manmohan Singh - 'I'll have to check with 10 Janpath.'

Julia Gillard (Australian PM) - 'Is the glass bullet proof?'

John Key (NZ PM) - 'Is the water contaminated?'

Gary Kirsten - 'Ummmmmmm No comments..'

M. Amir - 'I didn't drink the water of my own volition.. He compelled me to do it.' (pointing an accusatory finger in a random direction)

BCCI - 'The glass was full earlier. Lalit drank half of it.'

Lalit Modi - 'The glass was empty earlier. I filled it up to the brim. The BCCI drank half of it.'

Arnab Goswami - 'The glass is fully empty. But we have to defend our national pride at all costs. But all those responsible for these reprehensible act should be hanged. But the Ayodhya verdict is a more TRP friendly issue now. So let me talk about it.'

Sheila Dixit - 'The glass IS full.'

Gideon Haigh - 'It used to be such a good glass. As David Aaronovitch explains in his excellent guidebook Voodoo Histories: "If it can be proved that there has been a conspiracy which has transformed politics and society, then their defeat is not the product of their own inherent weakness or popularity, let alone their mistakes; it is due to the almost demonic ruthlessness of their enemy." I hold no brief for conspiracy theories. Butt the IPL is responsible for whatever you are asking me.'

NC (We are thinkers too!) - 'Should I put the whiskey in this glass or should I pour the water in my glass?'

Harbhajan Singh (anyone who claims that Bhajji is not a thinker has to say it standing within a striking distance from Bhajji) - Oye, Teri Maa ki.'

Ijaz Butt - 'I apologise in advance for whatever I am going to say now.'

Suresh Kalmadi / Bankers (Depending on who the reader hates more) - 'Where's the glass?'

Our interviewer to his horror realised that the glass he was holding had vanished into thin air.

Readers may ask what is NC doing writing such pointless posts on the eve of a compelling Test Match Series. Well NC managed to find some water to fill up it's glass.

Mr. Ten Percent enters Cricket

namya — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 16:29:00 GMT

Shahid Afridi feels that the word 'Agent' is almost assured of claiming the top spot in the 'Top 10 hated words in World Cricket'. The word 'Twitter' is giving it a tough fight as per Kevin Pietersen. 'IPL' is a sure fire winner according to most of the 'puritanical' writers like Pradeep Magazine. But 'The Australian' believes that 'India' will win hands down and they seem almost as confident as Mazhar Majeed was about the 'no balls'.

The mention of Mazhar Majeed brings one back to the central theme of this post. The quintissential 'agent' brings to mind the image of a slimy, sleazeball with zero integrity and unreliable promises, the guy who will grease palms of corrupt officials thereby smoothening the rough path for a needy businessman. In India he will be typically wearing a safari suit, Raybans and chewing Paan Masala. The kohl in the eyes is optional. But this description applies to the generic term 'agent'. There are many agents who appear regularly on national Television, take part in highbrow discussions and even talk of propriety. In Washington they are called lobbyists. In India they are called 'intellectuals'.

From thousands of these 'agents', there arise a handful who reach the pinnacle of success. They have their fingers in all pies. Only a few amongst these elite agents have the gumption to boldly go where no man has ever gone. The crem del la creme of these get the honour to be named after their chosen profession. 'Mr. Ten Percent' is one of them. Not Cricket has caught hold of a photo of the said gentleman in Cricket.

Oops.. sorry this is an incorrect photograph. This is the respected Mr Asif Ali Zardari. 'Not cricket' meant to publish this photo appearing below

Yes! He indeed is our Mr. Ten percent. Or that's what his wards claim him to be. A free loader who gets commissions out of their hard earned money, makes them feel like sweat shop workers working for peanuts (Actually 9/10ths of a peanut). Nikey would be so proud of him.