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One-eyed
 
Two rival teams were playing and local feeling was running high. The timid umpire called the two captains together before the game and said, “Now the last thing I want is any unpleasantness.”

The tough captain glared at him. “Any other last wishes?” he growled.

The umpire had been hard on the bowler, no-balling him and turning down his every appeal.

“By the way,” asked the bowler, “how do you spell your name?”

“Britton,” said the umpire, “B-r-i-t-t-o-n.”

“Just as I thought,” murmured the bowler, “only one 'I'!”



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